I hate hollywood

so today I got home from another fruitless day and decided to sit down and watch a movie well matt broderic and meg ryan star in addicted to love... interesting movie not the best but your neoclassic dramma nonetheless and well I come to the conclusion I hate hollywood they always make it seem like everything is okay at the end matt doesnt have a job neither does meg but they have love and happieness from that well I love someone but I'm not off riding into the sunset. no I'm broke depressed and need out of this state, to do that I need a job well stupid me or smart me declined one job because he hopes to get a better paying job and knowing he cant deal with being a cashier. how selfish was I to do that? I havnt figured out yet but I just couldnt bring myself to accept it I want something different and that wasnt it. what to do? I wish I could dissapear into the sunset a legend before his time or his time before a legend? fuck it I dont know anymore dunno if I want to know anymore I just want this to stop to have the perfect life live the American dream I have had enough shit droped on me when do the roses start growing damnit I just want to know once Just once I want life to be simple. and though it isnt christmas anymore I have the perfect answer in repose to that question "yes virgina, there really is a santa claus".